Remember the thing I auditioned for?
Well…my story was chosen! I am full of mixed emotions about this. Grateful, of course, and like I told you before, it’s something I really, really wanted to happen.
But I’m also extremely nervous. The story I wrote is about losing my twin babies, and as much as I want other moms to hear this story, the fact that I have to tell it is seriously scary.
I guess it’s like they say, if it doesn’t make you totally freaked out, it’s probably not worth it! Right???
Does it make me brave? I’m not sure. I’m told pretty often by people who know me that I’m brave for sharing my story, which has always kind of confused me. I don’t feel brave. I certainly don’t feel strong. The only thing I feel is this strong urge to help other people remember that they are not alone. That their story is unique, but their grief can be shared.
So much of what happens in this world we keep for ourselves. We own it and we think we are being brave by “handling” it ourselves. There’s a sort of pride in doing it by yourself, alone, and not “bothering” anyone. I wish this would change. I wish it were the strong thing to do to reach out and tell someone what you’re going through, instead of trying to go it alone.
We need each other. We can’t forget the power of “Me, too!” We are all searching for that feeling of belonging, whether it has to do with the things we love, or the things that scare us, or the feelings we have.
I teach 9 and 10 year olds, but I’ve taught high schoolers, and middle schoolers, too, and at every age level it’s so easy to see that the things we struggle with as kids never really do go away. No matter what kind of life we lead, there is pain, and longing, and there is an ease and comfort in knowing that we are not alone.
We are never alone. That’s what I am hoping to share with my story about my twins. I need your luck, ok? April 28th will be here before I know it!