This weekend, I took a Facebook break. I just peeked for the first time since Friday afternoon, and after 3 minutes I was over it, so I logged right back out.
I honestly hate how it pulls me in. I have no ability to self-regulate when it comes to social media. I mean, part of that is I am writing this book and I am trying SO HARD to grow my Facebook audience to convince an agent to take me on. My chances of that happening are approximately .006 %, but I’m not one to give up before I get started. So, I spend a lot of time trying to make my life relatable and make people laugh and help people see who I am.
But, mostly, I just get sucked in, and not in a good way. I am constantly (over)analyzing people’s interactions. For example, I notice when you don’t like my post, but like someone else’s. I notice that my extended family members never comment on my posts, which in my mind, equates to: I don’t love you/you have done something to make me angry. Brian and I both have families who are close with some of their family, but not us. We see when they get together for holidays and we’re not there. I notice when there is a baby shower and I haven’t been invited.
It hurts, and I think I would rather not know. Is it really true, that what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you? Some of my closest friends haven’t even taken the time to hit, “like” on my blog Facebook page. I notice. I wish I didn’t.
I have scoured the Internet, researching what it would take to get my memoir traditionally published. The biggest thing I can find is that when you are a non-fiction writer, you need a “platform.” Basically, I need an audience that they think will buy my book. I’m not sure I’m actually on board with this theory, because I could have 800,000 followers and none of them could actually think I’m worth money. Facebook is free, it’s low-risk. I guess it’s not really my choice!
Anyway, I’m to the point where I actually think it’s a better decision for me to be done with social media. Will I miss seeing what my friends are up to? Yes. Will I miss sharing my life and my children’s lives with my friends? Totally! But, I’m starting to think it’s just better for me emotionally to hide over here in my corner and not know what’s happening.
On the other hand, I have met so many amazing people through the Internet. I love meeting new people, and it’s so much easier for me to write than it is for me to be face-to-face, and to be completely honest—I feel closer to some of my online friends than I do to some acquaintances in real life!
I seriously don’t know if I’m totally alone in this (y’all are probably like, girl, go get some therapy!) but I will sit and wonder, “What did I do to my/my husband’s family that they just totally stopped interacting with us altogether?” We’re not invited for holidays, our kids don’t know any of them. Sure, we live far away from some of them, but now that our kids are a little older, we’d be happy to travel to see them.
But they don’t. And we don’t. And so we never see them and time goes by and if we do see them, it’s awkward. I want it to be different for my own kids, but it won’t be. So, maybe it’s better if we just don’t know.
I also have this weird fantasy that by the time my daughter is in middle school, everyone will be just kind of “over” social media and instead of being able to see Facebook in our retina scans, we’ll decide to go back to the way we were. I can still totally text my pictures to people, or put them on an old-school Shutterfly page.
So, what’s up with you guys and social media? Do you love it? Can you live without it? Do you hate it sometimes like me? Anybody else ready to be done?