Most of the time I have so many ideas for blog posts in my head that it’s almost scary. As in, I have to shake the thoughts outta my head so that I can focus on my day. I always thought writers were totally making it up when they said that their fictional characters “talked to them” or whatever.
I know I’m not a “famous” writer (Although I have been “recognized” at both Subway and the Y, so I mean … ). It’s kind of self-depricating to say that I know I never will be, but—well, you know. But at the same time, I already feel a responsibility to this blog and Facebook page. I haven’t made a dime off of it-I’m guessing I never will. Instead, I spend my very little extra money to “boost” posts, or host giveaways. The funny thing is, I’m not quite sure why. I’m working on growing my followers list because…well, because in a little way it makes me feel like I’m doing something.
People can relate to me, I’m told. People connect with my words. I can feel that. I love it. I do! But, I also have to be so careful with my words because I don’t want to sound egotistical or rude or dumb or selfish. Just like all of the rest of my life, I want you all to like me, and I know some of you don’t. Or won’t. And, in my experience, most of the blog posts that hit the Huff Post, the kind that are shared a trillion times on Facebook, they’re shared because they are one of those things. They strike a nerve with something and they’re the kind that make half of us scream, “Oh, HELL NO!” and the other half scream “Amen!” That’s what makes something go viral.
So, since I know this won’t be making the rounds on the Huffington Circuit, here is my list of random thoughts:
- I’m afraid that my kids are turning into unselfish, ungrateful jerks. I try so hard not to buy them everything they want, and I say no a lot, but they expect it anyway. I feel disappointed, mostly in myself.
- I saw myself in a full-length mirror today. I cried. My husband made me eat ice cream bc we are on vacation and it was a famous ice cream shop and it was homemade, but I just hated myself the entire time.
- I’m on an “adventure” ( I refuse anymore to call this a vacation) with my family to Omaha, Nebraska. We love it here! But, let me tell you. On an average day, my kids say my name 45,000 times. On a trip? 7,893,782, 012 times.
- Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic. Yep.
- I’ve read so many books, though! Everything, Everything was so good. At first I thought it was going to be just like the Fault in Our Stars, but it wasn’t and I loved it. I finished the second book in a YA series, something like the Throne and Glass or something like that. I’m hooked. Don’t know why they call it YA, though. I read “Final Girls,” my book of the month club pick, and I loved it. Now, I’m reading a memoir by Sherman Alexie and I’m absolutely riveted. (We spent a lot of time driving)
- My husband has taken to playing Candy Crush. This makes me SO happy. I don’t even know what that game is, but hubs is a chronic workaholic, so to see him mindlessly playing on his phone is AMAZE! (He just exclaimed, “YASSSSS! My piggy bank is full! Ohhhhh, you have to pay to open it? That is BULL!) LOVE!
- I hate continental hotel breakfast. Everyone bumps into each other. Everything has gluten. My kids over-eat. Stuff is stale. But, you know….free. So, yeah.
- Admission fees are, like, over the top. It costs us $150 bucks to go to the zoo. We had fun and stayed all day, and blah, blah, but whatever. That included the IMAX, where my kids were terrified of the Great-White Sharks they showed in order to teach us that we’re not supposed to be afraid of them.
- I found a tiny local bookstore called “The Bookworm” and I was so happy. I found a beautiful copy of Gone With the Wind and I’m so excited.
- My kids are playing with some other kids in the hotel pool while I write this. It is SO FREAKING AMAZING when you don’t have to get in the pool with them anymore unless you want to. WOOHOO!
- Hubs just yelled, “Oh, yeah, baby! Chocolate Mountains are done!” and did a raise the roof gesture with his hands. So, we’re kinda stuck in the 90s. Whatever.
- I will always, always feel like I’m never good enough. There is something ALWAYS tugging at me. Which people from work still hate me? How do I be around someone who doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore? Why will I always be fat? Why am I not asked to be on stuff at work anymore-I’m just the “average” joe, and it bugs me!!! Why did I spend so much money?
- Today, my son told me, in his adorable 4-year-old voice, “Hey, mama? Astronauts wear diapers, Bay-BEEEEEE” No clue. Anyone?
- I am depressed that I missed Big Brother this year. NEED DVR BACK!
- And, last but not least, I hate hot dogs. I have always hated them. I will always hate them. Why do they just assume that everyone loves them? And when I was a kid I just at the bun (I know…) but I can’t even eat the damn bun anymore. DOWN WITH HOT DOGS.
Peace out, yo.